There are many self-care tips on offer nowadays for women. It’s great we have access to more conversations around self-care and all the things that are useful to be doing around this topic, however, I also have an equal feeling that it can be a little overwhelming at times when we are so busy holding an abundance of space for everything else that already exists in our lives.
Sometimes self care can feel like another thing we need to add to our expanding list.
This is where it can become a burden in the very area that it’s not supposed to be, moving from self care to it’s opposite.
For someone who is passionate about self-loving practices and making sure we look after ourselves first, I’m certainly not ‘boohoo-ing’ these self caring tips that float around in our world, it simply feels that sometimes we can get a little flooded in them because in truth, we don’t always have time for that cup of tea or massage when we’re in the thick of it. This can be challenging in trying to keep things in balance.
What is ‘The Pause’
So what can we do that’s simple, full of self connection and care, and provides a space in keeping ourselves centred?
From my experience, it’s all found in the power of the pause. This is something that can have a profound effect on our wellbeing. Let me elaborate.
Firstly, let’s gather some understanding of what exactly the pause is and how it can serve us into a more loving relationship with ourselves and others, providing an wealth of self-care.
The pause makes itself known when we take a moment to step back, and create room between what’s happening in our world (externally) and what’s happening within (internally).
It’s the empty, generous space that’s found between these two and when we give our complete and honest awareness to it, so much becomes available to us in a nanosecond. An ocean of possibilities surface with an offering of how we can take ownership, staying centred and connected while responding, rather than reacting to what life is presenting in the moment.
With practice, the pause can be the first place we visit when feeling challenged, exhausted or overwhelmed.
Keeping it Simple
There are many ways to pause but one that is simple and effective goes something like this. As soon as you start to feel the trigger of overwhelm: anger, impatience or whatever the emotion is for you that presents itself when feeling challenged, this is the time to ‘pause’. You may actually say the word pause out loud to help self intervene before getting swept up in the storm.
From here, take a couple of slow, deep breaths becoming aware of how it feels as you draw breath into your body, focusing on directing your breath to any place that feels tight, contracted and restricted.
Invite your breath to open you up and ground.
See yourself in your minds eye step back from the situation and ask your body to show you a more loving way to respond in this moment, for yourself and the other person? (It may be space away from the person, it may be a kinder tone… your job here is to simply listen).
Allow a couple more breaths as your body answers with it’s intelligence and it becomes known to you.
Stay embodied and then respond.
Like with any new way of being, we need to practice and as our awareness grows, so will better relationships with ourselves and others. To me, this is moving beyond self care into a space of truly loving yourself.